Last night I watched the new Diamond Edition BluRay of the Lion King. It was the first time I've watched what is easily my favorite movie in over 18 months. I couldn't bring myself to watch it since my father passed.And at the appropriate time in the movie - I broke down. Completely. Sobbed. My heart just....hurt. Ached. But when it passed - I felt a little better.
And then I realized that seeing this counselor is just what I think I really needed. I think I've been stalled because of some blocks inside. And it's time to start knocking them down.
I saw my dietician today. We reviewed my food logging and noted that I eat out. A lot. I was averaging between 3000-3500 calories a day. We're cutting that to no more than 2500 a day. And she's given me a food plan - including a detailed menu. I weigh in again when I see her in 4 weeks. And there WILL be progress by then. She's said "It's time for us to get aggressive and kick some butt."
I can't even begin to say how much I agree. And how suddenly - excited I am.
And Byron - if you're still with me - my friend - feel no shame in being where you are. But as a wise old baboon once told me - you can either run from it....or....learn from it.
And "learn from it" sounds like the better choice. So I'm with you. All of you.
If you're with me.
EPCOT AWAITS!
My friend you have a part in this great circle of life, and learning how or just where you fit into that circle can be one puzzling journey. Every journey has a destination and to get there takes planning and a commitment to follow through. You have had a number of struggles and emotional bumps in the road over the past couple years. I feel that you are on the verge of turning a corner. As someone who considers you a friend, it is my prayer that you will make the most of the new opportunities which you have only just begun to explore.
ReplyDeleteYou can count on my continued support, knowing that I will speak plainly and yes sometimes even bluntly. One thing I will not do is enable you. With me you will always get the straight dope.
Keep the posts and emails coming and if you ever want to talk just let me know and we can plan a call or a Skype chat.
Sounds like you're in a great place Jonathon! I struggle with my emotions in a similiar way. For me, I bottle things up because I was deeply depressed in my childhood and I'm so scared of going back there that any sort of pain gets washed over or shoved aside or buried. I had to learn that it's OKAY (and even HEALTHY) to fully feel my emotions for a while. It's been a few years, but I'm still slowly building up the confidence to let them out and KNOW that I won't get back to that dismal place.
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel you on the eating out. I ALWAYS lose weight when I eat at home. Since My Sailor is leaving soon, we've been eating out A LOT - and I've put in 3lbs this week. Oy!
I'm so glad you finally seem to feel like you have people in your corner! You've got your dietician, your couch, your support team here on the blog, and I'm sure your family is right along with you! I'm right along with the poster above me! If you guys ever need anything, I'm new to the area and would be HAPPY to meet for a walk/hike/whatever!
Trust me Jonathan - those break down moments can come at any time, expected or unexpected, during happy or sad times. After many years, I have learned to accept that this is just part of the journey. To accept that the pain doesn't ever disappear, but you learn to handle it and move forward with your life.
ReplyDeleteI do understand what you mean as I am preparing to head to WA for a conference next week. I haven't been back since the passing of my brother and parents. I have opted to not go to where I grew up, but I will still be in areas that we spent time - this is not easy for me, but I know the tears and memories are okay and natural.
On the diet front - ouch, eating out is very tough. You can still eat out, but you have to make to learn smart, healthy choices and until you're ready to do that it might be best to avoid those outings. I am glad to hear that your dietician has given you a menu and I hope that you feel accountable for following the plan.
As always, keep in touch. Remember you are not the only one fighting this battle - I struggle almost on a daily basis and I provide support when you need it. Sometimes you just need to vent it out and I am a good listener :)!
I'm still with ya Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya on the Lion King as well. I haven't lost my father but can comprehend how difficult it must be for him passing so early.
Anyhoo, follow the dietary plan! I did something similar with WW and still ate out a ton. Of course it was tough to choose the healthy options, felt cheated almost, but once I got over it, results happened.
Just keep up the great work and see you real soon!!
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