Now - today's topic was supposed to be a trip report. I'm pushing that back a day or two.
Yesterday I had a really rough day. Long. Work stuff mostly. But I also had a long talk with my mother regarding our trip. She had a great time, but is concerned about my health and my future. But one of the REALLY big things she's concerned about is this blog. And she asked me to tell you all about her concern.
She thinks that this blog has become a place for people to come together to dump on me. A place for me to recount failed goals and for you all to throw negative energy at me because of it. She thinks that putting myself out there is a bad idea - emotionally and spiritually. She is concerned that I give you all access to my private life through my posts - and many of you are strangers - you could be ax murderers - or just people who enjoy tearing others down. And if you surround yourself with negativity - you're asking for problems - both small and big.
She really thinks that I should shut down this blog and walk away from it. And from all of you. In fairness, I believe she's only really thinking about the non "team" members here.
This blog has existed for four years - and I had a separate blog for two years prior. It is a useful reflection tool for me. And it is a place where in the past, we have done MUCH good. We've raised a lot of money for charity - and formed a team of friends and supporters. The reason much of this blog has turned negative lately is because I've been moving backwards instead of forwards. And now as I turn the other direction and move forwards again - maybe you'll all turn around with me?
I consider most of my readers and commenters friends. Some of you I don't know. Some of you I don't agree with. Some of you make me downright angry at times. I can't even tell you how upset I was on Tuesday reading that Hug thinks I should throw my medal in the trash.
And mgreene - who I'll admit - is now starting to turn positive. Still upsets me. Why?
Because I'm making progress NOW. And yes - I have a long way to go to get back to where I was - but if you want to help out our charity drive - you start at the beginning and you stick with us the whole way. You don't choose an arbitrary line in the sand and say "Hey - reach this and THEN I'll support you." If I'm willing to put myself out there - you ought to be willing to put your money where your mouth is.
But long gone are the comments from Deb and Kate and Byron and many of the original posters.
So the question remains.
Should I shut down this blog?
I really want your opinions. Not only if you find what I post to be helpful or useful - but also if you think it's in MY best interest to shut it down.
If I do - I will remain active in Team Voice - and remain active in health and fitness and running - and continue with all my goals. I will keep raising money - I'll go on podcasts and plug our charity - I'll keep losing weight. So don't worry about that - I'm not going anywhere.
I just won't chronicle my life here for you all.
If I don't shut it down - I may change it. I may not. I'm really not sure. I know I don't want to shut it down - but sometimes we can't see past what we want to what we need.
So I'm coming to you.
My friends. My commenters. The people who apparently care enough to register for an account and want to comment.
And if you're a lurker - GET AN ACCOUNT.
Today is the day I need to hear from ALL OF YOU.
Tell me you'd miss me. Tell me you want this blog to stay. Tell me WHY you read this blog.
Tell me you think my mom is right and I should shut down immediately.
Just tell me what you HONESTLY think.
And I'll HONESTLY listen. And maybe we can get past some of this stuff and back to the business of doing good.
MAIN STREET AWAITS!