Shoulders

You carried me.

On broad, strong shoulders.

You showed me the joys of life.

You taught me how to smile, laugh, and live to the fullest.

You always told me you loved me.

Tonight, I told you the same.

I love you so much, Dad.

And I miss you already.

Rest, now.

Be at peace.

Always.

In Loving Memory

Paul Marshall Dichter

September 1, 1946 - February 25, 2010

Brief Explanation

Hi team - so far February has been "okay" for me. But I did another 1.5 miles this morning on the elliptical. Despite some rather hard stuff to deal with. I'm keeping my food intake good - and really plugging along to try to finish February strong.

I'll be updating you guys as I can - but I wanted to post to say I MIGHT be scarce for a bit. Not too long, and I'm not giving up. I promise.

But - you see - remember how my dad is in the hospital? Well three days ago he decided he didn't want any treatment. He wanted pain meds, sedation, and to let nature take it's course. He's tired - exhausted in fact - and he's ready to go.

We of course had a family discussion about this - and he saw a psychiatrist. And he's lucid. He's making a choice to stop treating his ailments, which wouldn't go away anyhow. If he did treat them - he'd likely be with us several months - maybe a year. And be in and out of the hospital - a lot. And in a lot of pain.

Without the treatment, I'm told he'll be with us anywhere from a few days to a week or two.

As of now he's still in the hospital - but may be transferred to a skilled nursing facility for hospice care soon.

So - things are up in the air.

And before you ask - I'm doing alright. As alright as I can be. As I've watched my dad get sicker and sicker over the last several years - I've begun the mourning process really already. I just don't want him in pain or to suffer. He wants peace, and I wish that for him.

And I know that every time I walk on Main Street he'll be with me.

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Still Plugging Along

Added another 1.05 miles this morning - but not on the elliptical - this time it was on the half-elliptical half-stair-master machine of death. 20 minutes. HOLY COW. Really want to kick start the weight loss - I want to still hit my 8 pound goal this month.

We'll see - only 11 days left. Short month.

Dad's still in the hospital - and likely to end up in skilled nursing rehab for 2-3 weeks after. Ugh. We have to get him compliant with his medical needs, or else he's just going to waste away. Which nobody wants.

Anyhow - how's YOUR February going Club 8? How many pounds are you down? Are you ready for another round of donations?

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Back on Track - Just in time for a crisis

Well I'm back down to 339.5 (just a hair above where I started the month) - which feels great. Especially since I'm doing new pictures for my office's website today.

Of course - that's not the only news from Valentine's Day weekend.

My father is back in the hospital as of Saturday evening.

He's been getting weaker and falling. And this time, when the paramedics came to help him up, they noticed that his stomach was quite distended. He had an impacted colon again and his electrolytes (sodium particularly) were quite low - necessitating another admission to the hospital and bringing a whole new round of confusion to him with it.

But I'm surviving it - and not letting the stress and fear of it all get me into an unhealthy pattern.

In any event - things seem to be working their way out with him - and hopefully he'll be home in a day or so. I'll keep you all posted.

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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I know - it's tomorrow - but we're celebrating today - so there. :)

Just a quick note to celebrate the fact that I'm OVER 20 miles in my journey. :) I've been starting slow - but I think in March I'll be posting 3-4 mile increases on a three or four times a week basis - so I'll start racking up the miles quickly.

How are YOU celebrating Valentines day?

We're leaving little Elizabeth with our friends and going out for a nice lunch and a day at the local casino. Why today?

Because it'll be CRAZY busy tomorrow. :)

See ya'll Monday!

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Being Aware

That was yesterday's theme in counseling.

Being aware of what I'm feeling in the moment, instead of AFTER having Wendy's or a snack.

See - when we're feeling something, and emotionally eating as a response, we're on autopilot. We're not really thinking. We're just DOING.

But if we take a moment and are AWARE of our feelings, we can try to soothe them in OTHER ways - healthier ways.

And even just knowing that I'm here, and you're there, and we're NOT alone. That we ALL struggle - helps. More than you realize.

So next time you're feeling down, remember that I'm out here, plugging away, adding miles to my goals, working hard to get healthier. Remember that I struggle too. And then buck up, and avoid the temptation. (Originally that sentence ended with "avoid the temptations" - but frankly - I LIKE their music.)

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Making the Most

Of every day.

That's the key, I believe.

Which is why I dedicate today's post to my good friend, Mr. Incredible - Lou Mongello. My deepest sympathies for your loss, Lou. I know how much your dad meant to you.

So okay - I'm up exactly 4 pounds from last week, but down a pound since Saturday. So I'm headed back in the right direction, and knowing that I have a long road ahead this month, will redouble my efforts to reach my 8 pound goal!

Did a nice workout this morning - but can't post much - have an early court date - have to get moving.

See you guys tomorrow!

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Starting Over

This is how it feels sometimes. Like I'm running (or even walking) trying to outrun some horrible storm behind me. I'm battling depression - and not just "the blues" - but actual depression. The kind they put you on medication for and the kind you have a great therapist for. The kind that makes you want to sleep in, veg on the couch all day, and never get out of your PJs. The kind that screams for ice cream, mac and cheese, and chips.

And some days are better than others, and some are worse. Although in fairness, my therapist categorized me as "one of the most upbeat, chipper, depressed people" she's ever met. So how does my depression manifest, and what am I doing to combat it?

Great questions. I ask myself the same thing every day. And I wonder why I even try sometimes. Why not just wait it out and let it pass. The bed is very comfy. But that's not productive, and it won't help. So I committed myself in January to starting over. Re-losing weight. Re-learning my coping skills. Re-committing to health overall.

And I think I'm making progress.

Take for instance, today.

I woke up at 7:30. And although I don't weigh in until Monday, I weighed today. I knew as I stepped on the scale that I haven't been drinking enough water this week, that I've had a few "splurgey" meals, and that I'm likely holding onto some water and/or extra weight. And sure enough - I was right. Around 4 pounds from Monday.

And it felt quite hopeless. Like I shouldn't even try. I sat at the computer and stared at news stories for about 20 minutes. Half dressed for the gym.

And finally said to myself "hey - if you're going to do this - DO THIS." And got the rest of the way dressed and headed to the gym, thinking to myself all the way "how can I avoid some of the eating pitfalls I've had lately."

I did a nice elliptical workout - added some mileage to my goals - and felt stronger afterwards.

Am I still bummed about the weight? Of course.

Am I still worried about my business? Always. My family? Constantly.

In fact, I'm more worried about things overall than I can remember being in awhile.

BUT - I took control and went to the gym - and worked out. And now I've decided that today's going to be a good day. In fact - it's going to be a great weekend. And I'm going to keep fighting - and keep outrunning that storm. And eventually, the storm will die down, and I'll be back at full strength.

And until then...

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UP UP AND AWAY!

How cool is it that "Up" has now been nominated as Best Animated Feature, and Best Picture of the Year? Wow!

Anyhow - hello Club 8ers! I'm so proud of you guys for your donations and your continued progress! This is really helping us all get psyched and excited!

I threw in another 1.6 miles on the elliptical this morning, and am feeling good after a slow start to February. Soon I'll be able to use my new Wii Fit Plus game! (Have to be under 330 - we're getting there!)

And soon, I hope to post a few VIDEOS here of beautiful little Elizabeth - since my new iPhone 3GS has a video camera in it! :)

But until then - just keep swimming. Or...Adventure Awaits! Or...oh wait I know!

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January Round-Up - Looking Forward to February

Okay - today's the day! And if you look to the left, you'll see I've already made my WDW Dream Team Donation. Remember - when you go donate today - mark your donation with a "Club 8 - Team Voice - January 2010 tag"!

And I donated - $14.00!!!! That means, yes, I lost 14 pounds in January 2010! I started at 353.3 and am now down to 339.3. Which feels great!!! It won't be enough (4%) to win my offices "Biggest Loser" competition, but I beat my Club 8 goal, and feel great!

Now - my extra 6 pounds do NOT carry over to February. We start, as you can see, at ZERO.

So what will February bring?

Even more positive choices - more moving forward - and the Team Voice Challenge of the Month (brought to you by Chris Cullen, and the number "4"). Since I'm not doing the Goofy - I'm taking up the "do a long workout - longer than normal for you" challenge - and I'm picking the fun distance of 5.0 miles. Goal time? 75 minutes or less. Date? Saturday February 27.

Okay - now - today I want to see COMMENTS and DONATIONS!

How was your January? How much did you donate? How much did you lose? What are you doing in February?

This team is reawakening! SO LET'S GET SOME WORK DONE!

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