Today - listening seems to be emerging as a theme for me to talk about.(Editors Note: This is a long post - but please read it all...trust me.)
First of all - let's talk about listening to others. If you're competing in the W&D - you want to listen to WDW Today - because their Friday show is all about the race.
But aside from that.
I often have a hard time listening to criticism. Or even what I perceive as criticism. And so mgreene's comment yesterday struck me badly. Sure - I watched the video - and was quite inspired - and yet - the phrase "aiming for mediocrity" was what stuck out for me. And I was angry about this - all day pretty much. It colored the way I read EACH of your comments. I felt as if he was saying, and many of you were agreeing, that I am not serious about my goals or accomplishing them.
Now - before you stop reading - DON'T - especially you mgreene - let me explain something. I read and re-read all of your comments. Several times. And tried to put a "Disney" spin on things in my mind - tried to hear the magic - and love - and happiness in the posts. And I did hear it - and excitement - and more! And here's what I realized.
mgreene wouldn't post comments if he wasn't trying to be inspirational. I may not always like his wording, or the way it comes across, but he's trying his best to fire me up. Am I right?
I also realized that you guys thinking I'm not serious about weight loss - well - is understandable given my roller coaster over the last 10 months. Heck - the last two years. Especially if you go back and read some of my posts from summer 2008.
Now - keep listening.
And this is where the listening part comes in.
Listen to me.
I am 150% serious about my goals. And in case we forgot what they are - here's a recap in no particular order:
1) Losing at least 80 pounds over the course of the 9-12 months.
2) Competing in Disney Half Marathons and improving my performance.
3) Establishing a new PR in January.
4) Becoming part of the Disney Mom's Panel.
5) Being the best daddy and husband I can be.
There are more - but these are our relevant ones for this blog and this time (i.e. one week from a race).
Of course - telling you these things only goes so far. We need to SEE some progress right? Demonstrable progress.
So here's what we're going to do.
I'm going to take a picture of myself next Thursday morning before we board our plane for MCO. I'll post it either during the trip or on our return (as well as other pictures from the trip). And I'll take a similar picture the morning we leave in January. And you will see progress. And I will see progress. And we'll just keep on going.
Here's what I ask of you in the meantime. Keep believing. Keep reading. Keep commenting (yes, even you mgreene - and I expect a comment today, please). And when I have progress (and remember, progress is SLOW - it takes time) - even a LITTLE progress - cheer and crow as loud and proudly as you can.
You see - here's the difference between ME and the me that sometimes you think you see.
I. Will. Not. Give. Up.
Ever.
How easy would it have been to close up the blog and slink away and just stay my same old self-destructive self? How easy would it have been to just spend my time not putting myself out there? So why do I do it?
Because I love it. And I love you guys. And when I stumble - I admit it. I don't hide it. And when I succeed - and I WILL succeed - I've done it before - I cheer louder than anyone.
So - now with that all being said - I'm going to try to bring a little Disney magic back into this blog on a daily basis. Try to re-energize everyone - and inspire as much change in the world as I can! Let's see what our five remaining days until we leave bring!!
MAIN STREET AWAITS!
It is easy to read and comment, and give people a kick in the pants.
ReplyDeleteI know personally life keeps getting in my way, that and food(LOL). Though people say I look great, you've just had a baby... well almost a year ago... you've had 4 kids ...major surgery... I can go on, but the facts are I am about 60pounds overweight and I want to loose that weight, or even half that but am I committed or is life truly getting in my way?
That said, Jonathan I see you making that committment, setting goals readjusting goals and when you have a setback getting back up and starting over.
You have ran in 3 half marathons, something that some people could never do.
Next weekend you will be doing another one. You are definately committed ( or crazy lol).
Keep focused and remember everyday WHY you are doing this.
OH and I think you should have goal number 5 as goal number 1. :)
And remember this year Elizabeth will be at the finish line. :)
Jonathan, I do want to see you succeed! But from your past history, you seem to get more fired up by a kick in the a** than from a pat on the back. Your background as a lawyer makes you a great wordsmith, and at times your words on this blog are inspiring. But your actions are not so much. You "talk a good game", but do not back it up. I actually went back and started compiling a list of your "I will" posts that never came to pass, and actually got tired as there were SO MANY (I quit counting at 50+!). Even in your casual words on your blog, I see glimmers of the reasons why you're not making the weight loss thing - planning "dessert" meet ups at Disney? If you were REALLY serious about weight loss, desserts should not be on the menu. Sacrifice and commitment are two tenants necessary to achieve goals. I see quiet omissions on your blog that point to less than 100% commitment - like the quiet deletion several months ago of the mileage goal of running the number of miles to get to Disney at the top of your blog - I'm sure that was because the progress was so small that it was embarrassing. And I would have to say the "Club 8" thing has been a total failure - you should be down about 65 pounds by now, right?
ReplyDeleteI think you need to get back to doing the daily weigh-ins and post them - at least that way you can track your progress closer - you seemed to achieve better results back when you were doing this. And what happened to your personal training? No word on the great plans that you two were putting together, just another quiet omission from the blog. DO you remember the month where you ran every day (back in 2008, I think)? What happened to that commitment?
If my words get you mad and fired up to prove me wrong, then great - it seems you need something other than what you have now to do so. All these "touchy, feely" pats on the back that you get so often don't seem to be doing the trick. Remember Lou Holtz's quote, "No one ever drowned from sweat."
See - I prefer the touchy feely. Not because you don't mean it as much as everyone else - but because - as someone prone to self-doubts, buttkicking serves to remind me that my doubts might be true. So I try to stay as positive as I can - even in the face of difficulty. And I just keep on trying. And will do so.
ReplyDeleteMAIN STREET AWAITS!!!
Jonathan, I am afraid I have to agree with mgreene. I was just thinking the same things over the last couple of months. And I really want to see you succeed.
ReplyDeleteI am more of a "lurker" in the disney online community, starting with podcasts then moving onto blogs. I remember hearing you on Mousetunes announcing your goals. And I was there Marathon weekend 2009. I remember I was lining up in the corral and spotted you and your bright neon shirt. I nudged my sister and pointed to you, and explained to her how much weight you lost and how inspirational you were. I have been following your blog and its sad that you are not where you were back then. And I know life throws curveballs, but to be honest I am starting to see a pattern of excuses.
I think in the 2 years I have been following you have had shoe issues like 4+ times. In addition to illness, allergies, blisters, cramps and now a toe problem. It seems as though you just set yourself (and us) up for a reason why you can't get past something and accomplish what you set up for yourself. And you can pour sugar on everything and re-adjust your goals, and say you will do something, but I don't think you are really ready to. And that's ok - but I think you need to figure out if you are or not, because although you say some inspirational things, and have had success in the past, it's hard to see you as a leader of this group if you just keep sliding back.
I hope you can see these comments as constructive crticism and realize that we wouldn't comment or read if we didn't care. I would love to be there in 2011 and see you back to where you were in 2009 (or smaller!) and hope that you really can do it.
Hey there! Loved the post. I know I have trouble w/ critism sometimes too. The nearer and dearer the subject is to my heart, the harder it is to hear things on.
ReplyDeleteAlong that vein - I know one of the things you mentioned on your list is being the best father and husband you can be. While health does play a big role in that, I thought up something you might want to add to your blogging that may help you take the pressure of the weight loss aspect (while still losing weight). What about making a point to post 1 wonderful thing about your wife, or 1 wonderful thing you've done for your wife, each week? What about a date night with the wife and a "daddy daughter" date night tradition?
Just some food for thought! I'm enjoying reading about your adventures. Remember, Carl and Ellie had it right. Even if we never make it to Paradise Falls, life is the adventure that happens along the way.
Well, I had to wait to post this so I wouldn't say something wrong. So here I go after hopefully waiting long enough....
ReplyDeleteLet me say that I don't run but I am working towards that. I am not a member of Team 8, but I comment once in a while even thought this blog is for the team 8 members. I would never be brave enough to put all this on a blog because I am a confirmed lurker but mostly because there are people in this world who think they know exactly what everyone needs to hear or do and feels it is their goal in life to say it. Without considering that the impact might be very hurtful or that we are all not carbon copies of them or that it just isn't any of their business. And this is especially so when they haven't met the person the are “trying to motivate” or know anything about them or what they do during the rest of their lives, outside the blog. I am very happy to say I have met Jonathan and his beautiful family. I know that he does great work outside this running blog. He has raised a lot of money for charity. And he takes care of his Mom and Grandmother (I take care of my 96 year old Mom, I know this takes a lot of time). And I know that he is REALLY trying and when he slips, he says so and is honest. What exactly is wrong with this? It makes him an average human, who makes mistakes and doesn't get everything done everyday, who has injuries and deals with them, just like we all do. It is beyond me why anyone would take the time out of their day to actually count blog posts back 2 years to make a point. It is beyond me why, of all the people in this world who blog, that they would pick on this particular man just to see him be upset by it. It upsets his family too. Surely their time could be better spent doing charity or volunteer work. And surely, at sometime in their life, they have heard the phrase “if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all”.
Jonathan: In case you can't tell, I do not agree with the tough love philosophy. It may work with some but it doesn't work with all. And when faced with someone who it doesn't work for, it should be stopped. Of course some don't see it that way. I KNOW you can do this and I will continue to support you no matter what because I know you are working hard and I know you have a lot on your plate and it will go slower. It will happen. But you know what? Even if it doesn't, I will still support you because I count you among my friends and I know that you always keep moving forward in ALL that you do! It isn't just about running a marathon, it is about what kind of person you are and how you give back to society that will matter in the end. Anyone who thinks less of you because you are overweight, don't run everyday or backslides with a diet probably isn't worth worrying about. You are human and things happen to humans. Ups and downs happen to humans. You will do this and you have the bravery to throw this out to the whole world in hopes of being a inspiration and you have succeeded in doing just that!! Be proud of what you have accomplished in ALL that you do, not just the running.
Hang in!! I hope to be a proud member of Team 8 soon but until then I will poke my nose in only once in a while. Good luck next weekend!!! I'll be watching!
Dana
I just want to clarify somethings. I never meant my comment to be an attack on Jonathan's character. Its true, I have never met him. I can tell what a loving father and husband he is. I only hope that I can have the strength and engergy to take care of my parents when the time comes like he does. And I am jealous that he had the confidence and skills to open his own business. My comments were only meant to be observations on what I thought this blog was about - losing weight, getting healthy, raising money for charity, and disney races. And if someone is brave enough to "put themselves out there" in a blog to the world, unfortunately, they also must be prepared for the comments of people from all over reading and intrepretating their intentions. Its the bittersweet reality of holding yourself accountable by putting it out there. Anyway, I never said there is anything wrong with slips, and as I said, I know life gets in the way. I just waned to point out that I agreed with the previous comment. And I have had my own battle with weight. After years of being heavy, I lost 50 pounds, kept it off for a year, then slipped back up to higher than i was before. Because I made excuses, slacked off, life for in my way, etc. Its easy to be in denial about it, say "oh today is wasted, I will start again tomorrow" or just get comfortable falling back into the person you were unhappy with to begin with. I am now struggling to get back to who I once was, and I couldn't do it without support and sometime occassional kick in the butt. Sometimes you just need a new perspective. I don't mean to offend you Jonathan, or any of your readers. I honestly and truly believe you can reach all of your goals, and I will continue to read and cheer along (probably just lurking though as I am a little overwhelmed by my first commenting experience) with you and your team. Have fun on your first family vacation and can't wait to read the trip report.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNow why do I here Fozzie Bear in my head saying "Oooh boy, you guys again?"
ReplyDeleteSeeing all this churned up once more by mgreene is a blast from the past. And by blast, I mean a kick to the teeth.
Jonathan, don't let these guys get you down regarding your long-term goals. Ignore them. Just do what you need to do day-by-day to get there. Focus and good things will happen.
We've seen you make insane progress in the past. That's why we still hang around and support you. Figure out what sparked you before and rekindle that. Do it again PLEASE so we can muzzle the Waldorf and Statler crowd.
Seriously.
Now on with the show!
_____________________________
Waldorf: Well, you gotta give them credit.
Statler: Why's that?
Waldorf: Well, they're gonna keep on doing it till they get it right.
I just wanted to say that I think a battle with weight is a very personal battle - it is something that you can tell people about and hope that they are supportive, but at the end of the day it is 100% personal. I lost a lot of weight the first time around by eating less rubbish and exercising more. Then I had a small illness, my exercise went back to zero and put a little on. Running helped me lose more weight, but I have 'stuck' at the same weight for a while now. But that's my fault - I throw my hands up there and admit it! But I don't expect people to beat me up about it. Just like you have admitted where you're having ups and downs, people should be saying "Okay, you've done this, but let's move on and see how we can fix this". I don't see why beating you up about things you have said in the past can actually help...let's focus on the future!
ReplyDeleteI personally don't believe in the tough love philosophy - it doesn't work for me. It actually sets me back more. But it works for some people and that is good - the world would truly be boring if we were all the same.
And I agree with Justin - YOU are the one that has to focus on YOUR goals. You can share them with us and hopefully by writing them down you will be committed. But at the end of the day, worry about yourself and your own life. The majority of us will support you in it, just like you have supported me during difficult times.
Remember, losing weight should not be about diets but lifestyle changes. If you can remember that, you're half way there. And I am here for you all the way!
Congratulations Jonathan - you actually got me to sign up with a Google account which is something I never otherwise would have considered doing unless I HAD to in order to be able to post here. But I've been one of your followers and fans for a long time so I finally HAD to say something (and yes, I'm the same E. Michael Gannon who is All About The Mouseketeer 1102 and made the piano and singing contributions in the very latter days of your podcast, which I LOVED!)
ReplyDeleteLooking at your posts and your success AND failures stores, and especially at today's blog post, one thing jumped out at me, and that is you are setting A LOT of goals for yourself. Let's just take a brief look:
"I am 150% serious about my goals. And in case we forgot what they are - here's a recap in no particular order:
1) Losing at least 80 pounds over the course of the 9-12 months.
2) Competing in Disney Half Marathons and improving my performance.
3) Establishing a new PR in January.
4) Becoming part of the Disney Mom's Panel.
5) Being the best daddy and husband I can be.
There are more - but these are our relevant ones for this blog and this time (i.e. one week from a race)."
WHEW!!!! I am a runner and a medical coder and a husband and a piano player and a bicyclist and even I am overwhelmed just looking at that list!!! So, Jonathan, if there is one thing that screams out at me as needing to be screamed out to you it is this: Jonathan - GET A GRIP! AND PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST! Pick the most important things, stick to them and don't let go until you've succeeded, and worry about sweating all the rest of the small(er) details LATER.
Obviously it goes without saying that your top priorities are Amber and Elizabeth!!!! And in order to be "the best husband and the best daddy that you can be" one of the most crucial things you need to do is BE THERE - and BEING THERE requires being healthy and doing what you can to give yourself the maximum possible healthy, happy years to share with them.
Optimal running form? Negligible, in the overall scheme of things. Personal best in the next race? (Or even the one after that)? Again, negligible. Amassing a collection of coast-to-coast medals? Yep, even that - negligible.
(4096 character limit - to be continued)
(continued from previous post)
ReplyDeleteHere's what's important. In twenty or so years, you need to be slim, trim, and healthy as you pose for those family portraits by the photographer at Elizabeth's wedding. You need to be healthy, and not gasping for breath or lugging a can of oxygen as you walk Elizabeth down the aisle of the Disney Wedding Pavilion to give her away to her future Prince Charming.
You need to be around for multiple decades after that, to make sure Prince Charming treats her like the princess she is!! Picture yourself at that wedding, and picture yourself in those photos - and laser-zoom your mind on that goal!!
Your first step in being healthy and fit on that day is to get your weight under control. That needs to be more important to you than any of the things that you have learned over the course of the last few years have caused you to fail and stumble. Mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of if you learn from them - but they are EVERYTHING to be ashamed of if you haven't. So make up your mind right here and right now that you are going to put into practice what you have learned.
Yes, you will continue to have setbacks here and there. But you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again (as the old song goes) - IMMEDIATELY.
And please don't take any of this as critical or negative. As I said, I am one of your biggest fans - I am on your side. I have known people going through similar struggles and so I know you are not alone and your situation is not unusual.
You have already come a long way. You have a lot of advantages over many others who are fighting the same battle. The biggest one by far is the fact that of all the things you could have done about it, you have taken up running, and there are very few activities that burn up as many calories as quickly or as conveniently. So stick with it and you will see success. But don't make it all about the races, or all about personal bests. The objective shouldn't be to amass medals or set records - those are nice things to accomplish as byproducts. The real objective should be to improve your health and to enjoy yourself and feel better about yourself as you see progress being made.
I think you need to clear a few things OFF of your written list and your mental one for a while. Disney Mom's Club - nice, if it happens. Personal record? Nice, if it happens. But laser-zoom on one goal first. Drop the 80 pounds. Whatever it takes, subject only to the limitation that it be done in a medically sound and healthy manner.
And I said it was about Amber and Elizabeth. So make it about Amber and Elizabeth. IN ADDITION to your running, take up some walking, if you haven't already done so. A run at one time of the day and a walk 12 hours opposite that time will provide synergistic benefits; it will keep your metabolism revved up that much better and it will also help running-strained leg muscles continue circulating blood and not get tightened up as much as they otherwise might (take it from me, a runner of over 33 years, who practices what I've just preached). So where do Amber and Elizabeth come in? Well, you take them with you, of course!!!! Even if it means the Seattle rain forces you two adults to carry umbrellas and prop a third umbrella over Elizabeth's stroller!!!!! What better or healthier way to connect with your family, and meet your heath, husband, AND daddy goals all at once?
Zero in! Activity - both alone and with family - every day! No matter what! No excuses! Then congratulate yourself over the results when you see them!!!! :)
(And by the way, stick with those healthy veggies you recently talked about. That will help too!!!)
ReplyDeleteOh - one question, Jonathan - now that I'm here. I read an earlier post about you staying at the Polynesian - and I'm envious because that's my favorite resort, the only one I've ever stayed at for all of my 6 trips to WDW and the only one I'd consider staying in - but I seem to recall you becoming a DVC member at Bay Lake Tower! So when I read that you were arriving at the Poly I was a little surprised you weren't staying at BLT!! Didn't they have the space for you? Or was it that you're saving your points for later use? Or what...?
ReplyDeleteHere we go again ,picking.{rolling the eyes}
ReplyDeleteBut we know that putting it all out there for the world to read, we know there are going to be things commented that the publisher will not like nor the reader.
E and I know you,and Amber and soon get to meet Little Voice.{I can't wait}I to take care of my mother, and I have a son with a mental illness that causes me so much stress,I get mentally drained and I do slide back from it.Excuses right?? I do believe that is what some are calling it.
{excuse my spelling doing my best here while on pain meds}
The past is in the past.To move on from the past, you must first own it, except it. Til then you can not move on. Yes there are lots of slides,but you have had alot to deal with that life has been throwing at you. You made it through. I know you have gain weight back, and it is hard to break habits, and you did what you knew how to do. But you still put it out there.
You are not the only one who has gained weight, and loss momentum with exercising and miles. Let those be critics... they do not know how it feels to be in our shoes. If you don't like what the reader commented, remember it is that persons opinion. BTW.. We know we are fat, and we are dealing with it.
I have been worrying about you alot, but you surprised me and you came through. Smiling still. Even when life threw you a hurricane of a life storm, you made. Worn a little, heavier, and willing and wanting to make it right.
For that, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!Amber must be beaming cause you want to correct and restart.
Any time I wanted to give up,or quit, I got a comment, and e mail,quick text, Rae you're not quitting!!!
And every time, you just seemed to understand, and I THANK YOU for it.
I am the tough love Team Voice, I will be the first to call any one out, even myself.
So now it's my turn,I got your back...Even with the 3 hour time difference.. ;)
My only question is why did you wait so long to get the toe looked at?? GRR...
haha who am I kidding I had a tooth removed yesterday!!!! haha
SO.... we need to get Team Voice back on track get this engine rolling .. get moving forward and get things better for all...so we all can make our goals, so we can be happier and be around tons longer for our wonderful families and friends!!
You want a PR for Jan, and dump some more weight, I am willing to help you..I can..
Less than a week, we are going to forget about work,stress, home,and enjoy !!! Holy Cats!! I would love to see Little Voice when she sees a character!!! That will be soooooo priceless!!!
"LET THE MEMORIES BEGIN"
Well, at least I got the comments started...
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ReplyDeletetest post
ReplyDeleteNow, the hardest part, is doing it. It may sound stupid, but if you don't have time to get out and get miles, start by taking the stairs. I did, preferably down! Gravity is my friend! And that is how I got my wind back, that really is it. Everyone has to remember, this is all supposed to be fun, coupled to hard work, but fun none the less. Different strokes for different folks, one step at a time, whatever you want to say, just start it. You have a great training buddy now with the little one, i feel a stroller boy revisited coming on. Just a few suggestions, just my mumblings, but remember, "Little Voice" is why you are doing this, so you can be there for her, and out there doing all the daddy things, like bike riding 101, hopscotch 101, and any other 101's you can think of. I understand you have alot on your plate, everyone does, but you need to have a little "ME" time to take care of "the Voice". It would be pretty quiet around here without that. Don't get discouraged by others. Anyone commenting on here cares enough about you, to take time out of their day to either pat you on the back, or kick you in your A( you know where), my point is, we all do this to show you support, no matter how it comes across. Now, your job, take this support, and RUN WITH IT! Do what you can to start, but keep going! No one on here will ever look at you cross as long as you keep true to you, and just do it! Bad shoe reference, but fitting. My $.02, as little as it is, take what you need.
ReplyDeleteIt won't post the first part of my comment. No wonder Rae complains about Blogger.
ReplyDeleteThe blog is your friend - even the nasty comments or comments we perceive as nasty. It prompts us to think, to be honest and to be held accountable.
ReplyDeleteLike you I'm struggling - I know what to do, but have trouble doing it all the time. I try and I fail, I try and I succeed...The key is I try! I see you doing the same thing - you can do it and if you want to do it you will.
I will be here to cheer or motivate or kick your rear when and if you need it...I know the struggles you face as I face them too. Through your blog you motivate me to continue to be honest and own up to my actions and I hope by commenting on here I can do the same for you.
The blogosphere is an interesting place - sometimes good, sometimes bad...and sometimes it's all how we perceive it. Take in, let it out and keep moving forward!
Can't wait to meet you in person next week at WDW - it's been a long time coming.
WDW Today - was interesting listening at least!