There are things nobody every tells you about being a parent.
Nobody can ever explain to you just HOW FIERCELY you will love this little creature. Just how amazingly strong of a bond you'll have. How much you'll want to hold her all the time.
They never tell you that sleep deprivation is a real life thing. That you'll get to sleeping in chunks of 2 hour time blocks. That you'll feel tired - ALL THE TIME. That you'll be OUT of energy for those first few weeks. (When does this part end? LOL) That in order to do things like exercise (which I'm doing), or you know....brush your teeth - you need to find a way to FIT IT INTO this craziness.
They never tell you how obsessive about poop you'll become. Seriously. We watch for it. Catalogue it. Everything.
Nobody ever told me how unbearably sad it will make you when she cries. And I don't mean little squeaks. I mean full body crying. When you can't comfort her, or you have to go through the routine of change, burp, feed, dance, everything - and it's not quite working. The sound pierces your heart and shatters your soul. Then she smiles and repairs you. And then it happens over and over again.
It's almost unbearable when she cries. I just don't even know how to handle it at times. I just hold her and tell her I love her.
And goodness knows that when she bumps herself (or falls down - which she did the other day - onto the carpet - from our bed - she's fine - but what a scare for us - holy cow - we cried for hours) - the crying turns into wailing. And your heart just breaks because you can't just reach into her and fix her hurt - and tell her it's going to be alright. You try. You do everything you can. You hold her and love her.
And eventually she settles.
And grabs your finger.
And you fall deeper and deeper in love with her.
Nobody told me how much I'd love this little girl.
And the reason nobody did is because nobody could possibly describe it in words.
And besides - you can't understand it until you're there.
Fatherhood is a very very good thing.
MAIN STREET AWAITS!