Things I Wasn't Told...

There are things nobody every tells you about being a parent.

Nobody can ever explain to you just HOW FIERCELY you will love this little creature. Just how amazingly strong of a bond you'll have. How much you'll want to hold her all the time.

They never tell you that sleep deprivation is a real life thing. That you'll get to sleeping in chunks of 2 hour time blocks. That you'll feel tired - ALL THE TIME. That you'll be OUT of energy for those first few weeks. (When does this part end? LOL) That in order to do things like exercise (which I'm doing), or you know....brush your teeth - you need to find a way to FIT IT INTO this craziness.
They never tell you how obsessive about poop you'll become. Seriously. We watch for it. Catalogue it. Everything.

And lastly - and this is the biggie.

Nobody ever told me how unbearably sad it will make you when she cries. And I don't mean little squeaks. I mean full body crying. When you can't comfort her, or you have to go through the routine of change, burp, feed, dance, everything - and it's not quite working. The sound pierces your heart and shatters your soul. Then she smiles and repairs you. And then it happens over and over again.

It's almost unbearable when she cries. I just don't even know how to handle it at times. I just hold her and tell her I love her.

And goodness knows that when she bumps herself (or falls down - which she did the other day - onto the carpet - from our bed - she's fine - but what a scare for us - holy cow - we cried for hours) - the crying turns into wailing. And your heart just breaks because you can't just reach into her and fix her hurt - and tell her it's going to be alright. You try. You do everything you can. You hold her and love her.

And eventually she settles.

And grabs your finger.

And coos.

And smiles.

And you fall deeper and deeper in love with her.

Nobody told me how much I'd love this little girl.

And the reason nobody did is because nobody could possibly describe it in words.

And besides - you can't understand it until you're there.

Fatherhood is a very very good thing.

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A letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

I can't really type yet, so I'm asking Runny Bunny to help me with my letter.

Daddy told me all about you yesterday before I met you at the mall. Thank you for being so nice to me!

What I want this year isn't for me, but for mommy and daddy.

I want to learn to sleep through the night, and for them to be able to focus on themselves a little bit. I know that I'm only a baby and I don't really know how to do much to help. I also know that they have to focus on me.

But I want them to do their best to focus on themselves too. I want my daddy to be around for a really long time. I want him healthy and fit. He's doing alright lately. I know he's focusing on doing something called "maintaining" the "status quo" which I have no idea what that means - but it sounds good...

So...can you help them this season by helping me to get a little system together? A little more consistency? I might be asking a LOT - but as daddy and mommy get the hang of things, I want them to have a few moments to help themselves.

What do you think?

And...perhaps a puppy? Or a stuffed animal? Or a nice outfit? Or something awesome like that?

Love,

Elizabeth.

Changing Things Up

Change is a good thing - and although I don't normally post at night - I felt like saying hi tonight. :)

We've already had one good workout this week and eaten well today also. We're on the right track. This week WILL be a good week.

And besides - who could resist another Elizabeth picture?

Whenever she has a chance, she puts my fingers in her mouth!

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342 - A Lesson in Adaptation

I've learned something these last three weeks - and yes - Elizabeth is now THREE WEEKS OLD - where did that time go? Regardless - do not think I'm complaining about her in the next moments - I adore her so much - as you can see above - and she's just SO perfect.

Anyhow - I've learned something.

Being a parent is a lesson in adaptation. You finally think you've figured out a plan - like last Monday - and just when you get settled, the baby changes the rules.

Sleepless nights and sleep deprivation have combined this last week to mean I haven't been working out - been sleeping - and have pretty much eaten when I could and what I could - which is usually too much. Lots of time on the couch, because the doctor doesn't want us taking her out too much until she's 30 days old.

And as a result - I'm up 2 pounds.

So how do we change? How do we adapt?

First change - working out in the mornings isn't working. So let's abandon that idea. Now let's just try to work out each day. Who cares when? If I'm able to "fit in" sleep - I should be able to "fit in" a workout. We're shooting for 4 workouts between now and next Monday. We're shooting to lose those 10 pounds (plus 2).

Second change - all of the comfort food friends have brought us to eat is now gone. All we have left is healthier pre-prepared options. And I'm going to be consciously controlling portions and calories.

We live - we change - we learn.

I'll check in throughout the week and let you know how it's going. I need the support I find here. I feel like I CAN get going and CAN do this - but "re-starting" my engines will be difficult.

But no matter - I've done difficult before right?

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Learning from my Father - 340

Elizabeth met Grandpa this weekend. The mask is because he still has MRSA (another day or two and he'll be cleared) after his recent hospital stay. He was SO happy to see her. He cried. I cried. It was emotional.

Through all the craziness and fast food and pizza and lack of exercise, I've still managed to lose a pound in the last few weeks. But not enough. And today I look at this picture and realize that my father is FAR too sick for a 64 year old. And I will NOT do that to Elizabeth or my future grandchildren. I just won't. It was a concept before.

It's a REALITY now.

And so, taking Ambers suggestion (who gained 7 pounds during pregnancy TOTAL and is already down 20 since) - I'm starting today slowly - going back to the EA Active workouts. Focusing on losing 10 pounds in the next three weeks. Getting back to using Wii Fit. Doing things HERE at home so I can stay with them and help out. And as Elizabeth gets more settled and Amber needs a LITTLE less help (and is getting more sleep) I'll go back to the gym, and follow Byron's example...

I'll be there - January 2011. And Elizabeth and Amber will be with me. And we'll be CELEBRATING health, life, and fitness.

And today we're starting back on that road.

MAIN STREET AWAITS!