ApologiesFirst - my sincerest apologies to you all. This week has not been my finest week by a long shot.
My food intake, particularly, has been sporadic, and increased to the point of shock. It's been a hectic week at work - with a lot of driving - causing me to do a lot of gas station food stops - and since I had lost 51 pounds - I figured a little extra snack wouldn't kill me.
And as of this morning - I've put back on nearly six pounds.
I feel horrible physically. I feel horrible mentally.
And I am terrified that I'll let you all down.
At least - that's how I felt last night. But this morning - I feel...a little different.
I feel...hopeful somehow. You see - I think I'd lost track of the goals. I think the race is so far away, I'd lost focus. And when I told Amber about this last night - she helped me regain some focus. I'd like to share that with you...and my own message of hope.
I only ask you this: you've believed in me this far. Please keep believing in me. I literally cannot do this without you.
Refocusing
There it is: Cinderella Castle - up Main Street.
Why is it that I'm going to be able to do this? These are some of the reasons I recalled last night...and focused on this morning:
1. I can see myself running in this picture. Up Main Street. Through the castle.
2. I want, so desperately, to help a seriously ill child through Make-a-Wish. And if I don't keep losing weight - I can't.
3. I believe in my heart of hearts that I am capable of this change - I deserve this healthy life - and to live a long long time. I deserve it, Amber deserves it, my family deserves it.
4. I have the love and support of my wife and family.
5. I have the love and support of a whole community of friends (that's you guys).
With all that going for me - I don't think failure is an option for me.
So - with that being said - I've had a setback. Let's learn from it and move forward, shall we? What changes can I make?
First - I've already exercised today. I will continue tomorrow and over the weekend. I will focus on exercising DAILY - not every other or so many times a week. It's important to keep moving.
Second - today I will be in the car ALL DAY. I have a court date on the other side of the state that came up suddenly, and because of that, I didn't have a chance to plan a car-friendly lunch. However - instead of eating on the go at a gas station - I'm going to stop in the morning at a subway - get a six inch sandwich to eat when I'm hungry and not before. I'm going to pack lots of water in the car. And simply not buy snacks. Dinner as normal.
I believe a good portion of the weight I'm carrying right now is water and/or bloat. My short term goal is to not gain weight this week when I weigh in on Monday. I know I can do this.
I believe in myself, folks. I swear to you all that I will not let you all down.
You've helped me get this far. Now it's time for me to stand up and start the race again. Who's with me?!
MAIN STREET AWAITS!